Fear
by 1stRainbowRose
Summary: Companion piece to I was there. Sesshomaru isn't effect by just anything. But Rins words effected him deeply. Rin X Sesshomaru oneshot


It bothered me, the thought of my life without her in it. Before I had been injured, I thought I would never need a human, nor care for one. And then I met her.

She was so small, and fradgile, and at first all I thought about was which way would be the best to kill her if need arose. But then... then she started to take care of me, and I found myself wondering how she came to get the scraches on her face. When she came back the next day with a black eyes, and even worse injuries I felt anger. Anger, for the sake of a human! Then my heart broke when I saw her lying there, killed while she was defensless. I told myself that I was just testing Tensegua, not that I care about her. I revived her, and she came with me on my journey.

I never asked, but Jaken -- my faithful Jaken, who always seems to be at the wrong place at the right time -- was the one to get the story about how her parents had all been killed by raiders. It was while we were sitting around the fire, so I was able to listen without appearing too intrested. When I saw the tears pour down her little face, I felt something sturring in me. I felt the need to protect this little mortal girl, and to show her that things weren't always bad.

Any time after that night I heard of a group of robbers or bandits, I would think of that poor child who had to watch her parents die. I always found them, no matter how fast they were, or how well they hid. I never left any of them alive. When I got back each time Jaken or Rin would ask where I was. I never replied of course. How could I make them understand I was only doing it to stay in pratice, and that it was nothing more?

When she was taken from me the first time I was in such a rage! How could I let that poor child get into such a situation. All of the ways I had thought of to kill her the first time we met were flashing through my mind, and each caused me to become sick with anger, frustration, and fear. When I got her back, I swore to myself I wouldn't put her in a situation to have her be hurt again. I also swore that I would get back at the man who had caused me to be scared.

Then came the day that I found a new fear arise in my heart. Rin had been taken from me again, this time by a simple demon. Oh how he would pay for taking my Rin from me! But when I got there I found that the monks I had met a few nights before had already taken care of him, and were trying to force Rin to go back to humans. Oh how my heart renched when I heard her small voice crying that she didn't need anyone. I was about ready to walk away when she added that she knew I woud come. I found myself smiling -- honestly smiling, not just grinning in antisapation -- at those words.

It was the next morning though that I really found out what fear was. Rin was looking at some graves, and asked me if I would remember her after she died. I looked down at her small figure and realized that I had grown so used to having her in my life, I had forgotten she was mortal, and could die. I told her not to talk about such silly things, but inside I was trembling. How could I live my life without that small fireball near by?

I continued to look for Naraku, but I couldn't shake the feeling in my heart every time I thought of her words. I had to find a way to make sure she w as able to live with me for as long as she wanted.

After Naraku was beaten, we continued to travel. I never explained why we went where we did, but it didn't seem to matter much. She always followed me, a smile on her beautiful face. I made sure to teach her how to take care of herself, and watch over her to make sure nothing happened.

Then came the day I was forced to realize she wasn't the small girl I had first revived. I had just come back from taking care of a band of demons who were slaying humans, and asked Jaken where she was. I wasn't upset when he replied she had gone into town to get some food. It had become quite conviant to be able to eat food that was purchased every once in a while. However, when she came back she wasn't alone. A young human was following her -- a male human. At first, I was confused as to why she would bring someone back with her. She never had before.

Stepping behind a tree, I watched her talk to him. She was talking amently about something, but he didn't seem to be noticing anything beyond her face. I found my fists balling as I watched him staring at her. When he offered her a flower he had picked it was all I took not to strangle him. She commented on how pretty it was, but that she had seen much better further north. He didn't give up though, and even when so far as to try and kiss her. Before I even realized what I had done the boy lay on the ground at her feet, my poision whip having taken him.

Oh how she was mad at me for that. We fought that night, and she refused to speak in my presence. Desprate to hear her voice again I planned our trip so that it took us to a wood I thought she would like.

When she first stepped into it, I saw the joy that filled her face, and it warmed my heart. She spoke to me finally, asking me how I had found out about it, and thanking me. I didn't say anything, just watched as she picked berries for dinner. As I watched her I noticed how she had grown into a fine woman. I thought of many such women I had met during my years, and how I had always thought they were squandered, since their beauty would never last. My heart stopped when I realized once again that Rin would not stay the same way forever. After that I redoubled my efforts to find something that would keep her in my life forever.

Fear has a way of changing as one matures, and I found the same to be true with us. One day while we were traveling she asked to stay at the next village we came to. It took all of my effort not to shout at her as I tried to understand why she would wish to leave. When she assured me that she was happy with me, I was sure she was thinking the same thing that I was -- how I couldn't live without her if she were to die.

It was then that I finally found out something that might help me with my search. I left them for a day, and traveled to a spring of water higher in the mountians. It was guarded by a woman who looked no older than Rin did, but had an air about her of someone much older. She asked me my business and when I explained to her the reason for my coming, she smiled knowingly and gave me what I needed.

I went back to where they were resting for the night, and found her crying. When I asked why she was unhappy she explained to me that she was confused as to why I would bother to keep her around. Sighing, I carried her to my bed to stay with me for the night. I watched her face light up after I kissed her, and the way she relaxed so compeatly in my arms. As I watched her sleep I realized that she had always had compleatly faith in me.

"Are you ready to go?" I asked her the next morning when I felt her sturring. Rather than reply, she groaned and snuggled closer to me. I wrapped my arms around her, and held her close. When she finally opened her eyes I repeated my question. Her eyes flew open, and she looked up at me, face glowing.

"Oh! And I didn't want to get up. I was sure it was just a dream," she said, throwing her arms around me. She kissed me, and then crawled out of the bedroll to start the fire.

"Rin," I said after a few moments. She glanced over at me, then came to sit next to me when I didn't say anything more. Reaching under my fur, I grabbed the small vile of water I had resting there and handed it to her. "Drink this." I instructed, then watched as she did so.

"What was that? It was like normal water, but slightly sweeter," she asked, handing me back the vile. I put it away, and started to walk down the path to the river near by.

"It was water from a spring up in the mountians. Anyone who drinks it never grows old."


End file.
